


Of Kingdoms and Magic

by Rawrgoesthedinosaur2015



Series: The Merthur series [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Magic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:29:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21609841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rawrgoesthedinosaur2015/pseuds/Rawrgoesthedinosaur2015
Summary: Merlin's destiny to protect Arthur is a full-time job, especially when it seems as though everyone wants one or both of them dead.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: The Merthur series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/758634
Comments: 36
Kudos: 261





	1. Chapter 1

The disease spread through Camelot like a wildfire, dragging its victims to the brink of death and claiming those who weren’t strong enough to fight the ailments. Gaius and Merlin had tried everything to find a cure, but nothing seemed to work. 

Despite their efforts, Merlin covered their latest victim and fought back tears as he motioned for the guards to take the body away. The frustration he felt was overwhelming, but there were still people to help and he pushed it all aside. 

“Merlin,” Gaius called, drawing the warlock’s attention over to where the older man was sat with a young woman, “You’ve been up all night, you should rest...” 

“I’m fine,” Merlin replied, approaching the empty pail that sat on the table and holding it up to Gaius, “I’m going to go get some more water.” 

The chilly morning air was a huge comparison to the almost claustrophobic heat of the chamber, but it was welcomed and Merlin felt the exhaustion dissipate a little. Collecting the water, he slowly made his way back towards the castle and froze when he found himself faced with dozens of sheet-covered bodies. 

Lost in thought, he felt a surge of guilt rush through him and jumped as a hand landed on his shoulder. Unable to push away his emotions, he quickly wiped the tears from his eyes and turned to find Arthur standing behind him. 

“Are you okay?” Arthur asked, trying to hide his concern and failing. 

“Fine,” Merlin lied, “Gaius needed more water...” 

With a nod of his head towards the pail of water still in his hand, Merlin shrugged off Arthur’s hand and walked away. 

*** 

Arthur watched as Merlin disappeared from sight, running a hand over his face and mentally cursing himself. He’d been distant since his father’s death and no matter how much Merlin had tried to help, he just kept pushing him away. 

Now, it felt as though their relationship was fractured and he wasn’t sure how to fix it. His coronation was around the corner and he wanted... no, he needed Merlin by his side, which meant making the first move. 

“Percival,” Arthur said, spotting his knight returning from patrol and waving him over, “Could you have someone deliver a message to Merlin for me?” 

“Of course, Sire.” 

“Just have them tell him that I require his presence in my chambers.” 

With a nod, Percival bowed his head and went to do as the prince had asked. It wasn’t exactly the best timing, but Arthur had to do something and he had to do it before it was too late for them. 

*** 

Unhappy about being pulled away from helping Gaius, Merlin made his way through the corridors to Arthur’s chambers and opened the door without knocking. 

“You wanted to see me.” 

“Yes,” Arthur stated, “I wanted to find out how things are going...” 

“Do the bodies in the courtyard not answer that?” Merlin replied a little harsher than intended, causing him to sigh and lower his gaze, “I apologize for my outburst, the disease is spreading quickly and we still have no idea how to stop it. If that’s all, I really need to get back to Gaius...” 

“Merlin,” Arthur called, catching his wrist gently in his hand and stopping him in his tracks, “I...” 

It wasn’t hard to spot the uncertainty that shone in Arthur’s eyes and Merlin fully expected the prince to play it off as nothing, what he wasn’t expecting was to be pulled into a mind-numbingly sweet kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin handles things and Arthur wants to go hunting.

Lying on his cot later that day, Merlin stared up at the ceiling and made a decision. Gaius had warned him that the magic feeding the curse was too strong for him, but he was the only person who could end it and he couldn’t watch anyone else die. 

The book of spells that Gaius had given him held numerous spells that could help, but Merlin knew exactly what he was looking for and flicked through the pages until he reached the right one. He didn’t normally need words since his magic was generally instinctual and in the moment, but this situation was different. 

Although wordy, Merlin picked the spell up in no time at all and positioned himself cross-legged on the floor of his small room. Several candles flickered in the quiet room and Merlin closed his eyes as the ancient words slipped fluently from his lips, creating a feeling of warmth in his chest. 

With trembling hands, he repeated the spell like a mantra and dug his nails into the flesh of his palms as he clenched his fists. The warm feeling gradually intensified into a burning sensation within his chest and Merlin was about to stop, when it vanished. 

Unsure if the spell worked or not, Merlin stood up shakily and made his way into the main room of the chamber. The look on Gaius’ face told him everything he needed to know and the tension that had kept him awake all night melted away, replaced with relief. 

“I know I told you that using your magic was too dangerous for you, but I’m glad that you ignored my advice in this instance,” Gaius told him quietly as they stood to one side away from prying ears, “How are you feeling?” 

“Relieved, unsure... slightly drained,” Merlin admitted with a shrug, “How will we know if it worked or not?” 

“Well, if the curse has been lifted then I suspect that the people here will start to show improvement within the next few hours and that no other cases will arise,” Gaius stated, making his way over to a young girl and leaning over to examine her, “The color is already returning to her cheeks and the boils seem to be less infected already, which are all good signs.” 

The disease soon began to dissipate and one by one the sick walked out of the chambers, but even that didn’t seem to be able to get rid of the guilt that Merlin still felt. Sat on the stone steps that led up to the castle, Merlin stared out over the courtyard where the bodies had once been and wiped away tears that rolled down his cheeks. 

As much as he hated hunting trips, Merlin would admit that he was glad when Arthur instructed him to get the horses ready and, for the first time since arriving in Camelot, it felt good to escape. The ride through the woods was filled with jokes and laughter as Gwaine told one of his many stories, but Merlin wasn’t really listening. In fact, he had put a slight distance between himself and the others without realizing it. 

They had been riding for several hours, when Arthur found a decent place to set up camp and Merlin wandered off to collect firewood. Returning with a bundle of sticks, he got the fire started and found his thoughts drifting as the flames danced in the light breeze. 

“You’re quiet,” Arthur said as he took a seat, knocking his knee against Merlin’s and looking over at him concerned, “What’s wrong?” 

“Just hate hunting trips,” Merlin lied, but the young warlock knew that Arthur saw straight through the façade and would eventually have to tell him the truth.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin starts to doubt that magic can be good.

The knights soon fell asleep, leaving Merlin and Arthur to take the first watch. Although tired, Merlin knew that the prince wanted to talk and sat quietly to allow the other man time to gather his thoughts. 

“I know it was you,” Arthur stated as the young warlock poked at the burning flames of their fire with a stick, “You used magic to undo the curse.” 

“I had to...” Merlin replied, tightening his grip on the stick and avoiding Arthur’s gaze, “Magic was the only way to stop the sickness.” 

“Thank you.” 

“W... what?” Merlin stuttered in surprise. 

“I said thank you,” Arthur repeated, glancing over to where the knights were sleeping and resting his hand on Merlin’s thigh, “Gaius told me that the magic being used to power the curse was strong, which means that he also told you the same thing and you still dealt with it anyway.” 

“I couldn’t let anyone else die,” Merlin told him, feeling the guilt and anger resurface, “I should have done something sooner, but I doubted my abilities... I let my fear of failing stop me from acting and people died as a consequence of that.” 

“It wasn’t your fault,” Arthur argued, but Merlin wasn’t listening and excused himself to fill up the prince’s water bottle. 

Leon had taken over watch with Percival by the time Merlin returned to the campsite, offering them both a tired smile and dropping down on his bedroll. Sleep didn’t come easily, a myriad of thoughts invading the young warlock’s mind and chasing away any sign of peace that sleep would bring. 

Night soon faded into the beginning of a brand-new day and despite his lack of sleep, Merlin already had breakfast cooking when the rest of the knights, including Arthur, began to wake. The morning seemed to stretch on forever, but finally, everything was packed up and they continued their hunt. 

After a few decent kills, Arthur made the decision that it was time to head back to Camelot and Merlin reluctantly agreed. Anxiety stirred in his chest as they rode back through the gates of Camelot and he took the horses to the stable without a word, taking his time to sort them out. 

“Are you avoiding Arthur or Gaius?” came Lancelot’s voice from behind him, making Merlin jump and drop the brush he had been using to groom Arthur’s horse. 

“Neither, just doing my duties,” Merlin lied. 

“You are great at many things, my friend, but lying is not your strong suit... what’s going on?” 

“My mother has always said that my magic was a gift and I believed her, but how can something that so easily takes innocent lives be anything other than evil?” 

“Travelling through different kingdoms, I’ve heard many of terrible stories about magic and I admit that, even now, it makes me nervous,” Lancelot said as he took a seat on a hay bale beside Merlin, “Then I met you... meeting you changed my outlook on a lot of things, but magic was the biggest thing and you’ve taught me that in the right hands magic can be pure.” 

“It’s not about having magic... it’s about how the beholder chooses to use it,” Merlin mumbled. 

“Exactly,” Lancelot agreed as if that should clear up Merlin’s turmoil and it did, but not enough to take away the guilt he felt.


	4. Chapter 4

Coronation day soon arrived and Merlin woke up early, collecting Arthur’s breakfast from the kitchens. He wasn’t surprised to find the prince already awake, stood by his window, and staring out over Camelot. 

“Morning Sire,” Merlin said as he placed the tray of food and drink on the table, “How’re you feeling?” 

“I’m fine,” Arthur replied, dropping into his seat and starting his breakfast, “It’s a big day.” 

“You could say that,” Merlin added, “Are you ready?” 

“Ready to rule an entire kingdom and be responsible for every person in it... not at all, but I’m going to do what I can.” 

“You’re going to be a great king, Arthur, you just have to have a little faith in yourself... everyone else does.” 

When Kilgharrah had first told him about his shared destiny with Arthur, Merlin hadn’t believed a word of it and found it hard to think that the prat he’d met was destined for anything. Then he’d got to know Arthur properly and he started to see the king that the prince could be, the king that lay beneath the layers of doubt that Uther had created. 

Arthur was soon dressed, nodding to show that he was ready and Merlin followed him towards the throne room. The atmosphere was fused with excitement; it wired Merlin’s entire being as though he was vibrating with power and, for the first time since the curse, he felt good. 

Trumpets sounded, flags flew and knights lined the path. Stood tall with their heads held high, they watched as Arthur passed and Merlin went to take his place. He watched with rapt attention as Arthur approached the throne, noticing the briefest of hesitation as the prince knelt and his heart clenched at the thought of how Arthur was feeling at that moment. 

“Will you solemnly promise and swear to govern the peoples of Camelot according to their respective laws and customs?” Geoffrey asked as everyone stood in silence. 

“I solemnly swear so to do,” Arthur replied. 

“Will you to your power cause Law and Justice, in mercy, to be executed in all your judgments?” 

“I will.” 

“Then by the sacred laws vested in me, I crown you Arthur, King of Camelot.” 

With the crown on his head, Arthur stood up and turned to look out over his courtiers. A chant of _‘long live the king’_ rang out around them and Merlin couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face, this would be the beginning of a new time in Camelot’s history... the reign of Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I ended up with really bad writer's block on this story, BUT I managed to write this, and hopefully, it'll spark something creatively! Sorry it's short!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lord Gwer returns!

Back in Arthur’s chambers after the coronation, Merlin set out some clean clothes for the feast that night and returned to his duties as the newly crowned king got changed. With his duties complete, he left Arthur to his thoughts and made his way to Morgana’s chamber as promised. 

Her control was improving with every lesson and her powers grew, but she was still struggling with trusting herself. From his position by the window, Merlin held a candle in the palm of his hand and watched as Morgana took a shaky deep breath. 

“You’ve done this plenty of times before,” Merlin stated with a nod of encouragement. 

“You’ve never been this close to the candle before,” Morgana argued. 

“Just focus on what you want to do,” Merlin instructed softly, “Picture the candle and a flame, then use the flame to light the candle.” 

There was silence as Morgana closed her eyes and Merlin waited, smiling when a flame ignited a few seconds later. The sound of horse hooves out in the courtyard soon caught his attention and he looked out, swallowing when he spotted Lord Gwer emerge from the horse-drawn carriage. Lost in his panic-filled mind, Merlin didn’t notice Morgana join him and jumped as she touched his shoulder. 

“I don’t remember his name being on the guestlist for tonight,” Morgana said, a look of distaste and anger on her face, “You should go tell Arthur.” 

With a nod, Merlin made his way back to Arthur’s chambers and knocked. It wasn’t long before he was granted access and he opened the door, biting his lip as he stepped over the threshold. 

“Merlin,” Arthur greeted with a slight frown, “Is everything okay?” 

“Lord Gwer just arrived...” 

“What’s he doing here?” Arthur asked, standing up and leading Merlin out to the courtyard. 

“Ah, King Arthur,” Lord Gwer greeted with a bow, “My congratulations on your coronation sire.” 

“Thank you.” 

“I must say I was surprised when I received the kind invite from your uncle... I am truly sorry for your loss,” Gwer added, looking at his belongings and shifting his gaze to Merlin, “Boy, my bags and don’t drop anything.” 

“My apologies Lord Gwer, but I’m afraid that Merlin is unable to assist you tonight,” Arthur stated in an authoritative tone of voice, “I will have one of the other servants join you as soon as I can.” 

Although clearly unhappy with this, Gwer forced a smile onto his face and glared at Merlin as he was led into the castle by one of the knights. Stood in silence, Merlin waited for the courtyard to empty out and then spoke. 

“Arthur...” Merlin began, seeing the look on the other man’s face and falling silent again as the king exploded in anger. 

“Agravaine,” he whisper-shouted, taking a deep shaky breath and growling in frustration, “I made it clear... there was a vote and he disobeyed my direct instructions on the matter. Lancelot, please escort my uncle to my chambers immediately.” 

Lancelot walked away with a quick nod and Merlin glanced over at Gwaine, who simply shrugged. It was no secret that Merlin had never trusted Agravaine, despite the man being Arthur’s blood and Merlin was almost certain that Arthur didn’t trust him fully either. They had only just re-entered the chambers, when someone knocked on the door and Agravaine walked in with Lancelot on his heels. 

“You wanted to see me, sire?” 

“Yes, uncle,” Arthur replied, his tone oddly flat and demeanor eerily calm, “Do you know why you’ve been summoned?” 

“No, sire.” 

“You disobeyed a direct order from your king, undermined my position as ruler of this kingdom and the positions of every lord that sits on my council.” 

“My lord...” 

“I am beginning to doubt where your loyalties lie, uncle, I shall be lenient this time... but I am watching you,” Arthur warned, “Get out of my sight.” 

With a bow, Agravaine turned and hurried from the room. Arthur dismissed Lancelot and stood by the window, staring out over Camelot as darkness began to fall. Unsure of what he could do to help, Merlin stepped forward and placed his hand comfortingly on Arthur’s arm.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur has a request

Stood behind Arthur a while later in the great hall, Merlin listened as the newly crowned king made his first speech to the visiting lords and felt a swell of pride at the rapt attention in which everyone was paying him. He was soon re-filling Arthur’s goblet with wine and paused as Arthur touched his arm, lowering his voice so that only Merlin would hear. 

“I don’t want you moving from your position tonight,” Arthur told him, though his tone was soft, “Lord Gwer has been watching you all night and I don’t like the look in his eyes.” 

“Yes sire,” Merlin replied, knowing that calling Arthur by his name in front of visiting nobles would be seen as disrespectful if overheard. 

The night soon came to an end and Merlin followed Arthur to his chambers, swiftly finding himself pressed up against the door. For a few seconds panic stirred in his chest, until he remembered whose chambers he was in and instantly relaxing under Arthur’s gentle touch. 

“I can’t wait for our visitors to be gone,” Arthur mumbled, resting his head on Merlin’s shoulder and taking a deep breath. 

Visitors to the kingdom had always put Arthur on edge, his fear of someone attacking from within Camelot’s walls driving him to be on alert and ready for when, not if, the attack came. Unsure of how to help soothe Arthur’s stress, Merlin lifted his chin and reluctantly pressed a kiss to the king’s lips. 

“They’re only here for a couple of days,” Merlin said, running his thumb across Arthur’s cheek and smiling, “I need to get your room tidied before you retire for the night.” 

It didn’t take long to finish the room, pulling back the covers and collecting Arthur’s dirty clothes in a basket. With his duties complete, he bid the king goodnight and was about to leave when a hand lightly gripped his wrist. 

“Stay,” Arthur stated as Merlin looked back at him with a questioning look. 

“What if someone finds us?” 

“No one enters the king’s chambers unless given permission, besides... I’m sure you could come up with a solution.” 

“You want me to use magic?” 

“I want to spend the night with the person I love,” Arthur mumbled. 

Merlin hesitated momentarily, torn between his want to stay and his fear of them getting caught. His fear was winning, but something in Arthur’s eyes changed his mind and he placed the basket in the corner to deal with the next day. 

Dressed in a pair of Arthur’s nightclothes, Merlin stood awkwardly beside the bed and climbed in as Arthur patted the empty spot beside him. He laid stiffly, slowly relaxing when a pair of strong arms wrapped around him and a warmth engulfed him. 

“Arthur, what do you see in Camelot’s future?” Merlin murmured into the darkness a little while later. 

“There’s a lot that I hope I can do for my people, but, above all else, I want Camelot to be safe for you and other’s like you,” Arthur replied, absent-mindedly tracing patterns on Merlin’s arm and kissing the back of his neck, “I’m not naïve enough to think that all magic is good, but the thought of you living every day with the fear of being discovered on your shoulders hurts and I want something better... I want to give you the freedom to be who you are.” 

“That would be nice,” Merlin agreed, entwining their fingers and kissing the back of Arthur’s hand. 

“Whatever happens, I won’t let anything bad happen to you,” Arthur promised, “That’s my solemn vow to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! So I have to be honest... I've been a little scared to update this, just because I don't want it to come off as too modern and yet, I want it to feel fresh at the same time. I've been thinking about it for a while and I've decided to just go for it, I can't go wrong if I write from the heart. I really hope you enjoy this update ♥


	7. Chapter 7

Merlin woke up as the sun was rising, dazed, and confused as to why he couldn’t move. Panic stirred within his chest, until his mind cleared and he realized that the reason he couldn’t move was due to the pair of arms locked around him. Arthur’s arms to be more precise. 

“Will you stop freaking out so loud,” came Arthur’s sleep filled voice from behind him. 

“I haven’t said a word,” Merlin argued. 

“You didn’t have to, I know you, Merlin, right now you are thinking about what happens if we get caught,” Arthur added, pushing himself up onto his elbow and pulling Merlin so that the warlock was lying on his back, “Stop worrying so much.” 

“That’s easy for you to say,” Merlin started, but quickly found himself cut off by Arthur’s lips on his and fell into the moment without complaint. 

They were soon dressed and Merlin headed down to the kitchen to grab Arthur’s breakfast, returning to hear voices coming from the king’s chambers. Not wanting to interrupt, he tapped lightly on the door and waited until he was told to enter. 

It was only then that Merlin found out who the other voice belonged to... Gwer, he was stood in front of Arthur’s desk and merely glanced in Merlin’s direction as the young warlock set the tray he’d been carrying on the table. 

“As I was saying, the invitation is humbly received and I will do my best to find the time,” Arthur stated, shifting his attention to Merlin, “Thank you, Merlin, I believe Gaius requires your presence in your chambers and I will see you out on the training grounds.” 

“Yes, sire.” 

Grateful for the escape, Merlin made his way straight to the chamber that he shared with Gaius and joined the older man at the table. 

“I didn’t hear you come back last night,” Gaius commented after he’d pushed a bowl of food towards him. 

“It was late by the time I finished everything that Arthur needed me to do, so I just slept in the servant's quarters next to Arthur’s chambers...” Merlin answered with a shrug. 

Glad that Gaius didn’t push, Merlin ate the warm oats in front of him and went to the armory to make sure the weapons were ready for training. He had already taken the equipment out onto the training field, when Arthur and the knights arrived. 

Merlin didn’t really like training, mainly because Arthur used him as a human target and, despite never purposefully hurting him, he always hurt for days afterward. Much to his relief, today Arthur wanted to focus on the knights and had them sparring with one another. 

“Your knights are looking strong, Sire,” came Gwer’s voice as he approached. 

“This is only training,” Arthur replied, pride clear in his eyes, “They are even greater in action.” 

“I have no doubt,” Gwer added, “The knights of the round table have quite a reputation outside of Camelot, but then so does your manservant...” 

“Is that right?” Gwaine inquired, putting his arm around Merlin’s shoulders and ruffling his hair with a grin. 

“There are stories of Arthur and his trusted circle, but we all know how foolish it would be for a king to put his trust in a group of mere commoners.” 

“These men have proved themselves to me on more than one occasion,” Arthur argued, “Their loyalty is unwavering, their opinions matter and I would stand shoulder to shoulder with each one in any fight.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The knights find out about Merlin's magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the wait on this, 2020 has been rubbish and writer's block was a constant. Hoping that this is a break through!

Back in Arthur’s chambers after training, Merlin watched as the king paced and waited for him to speak. He could see how much Gwer’s words had gotten under his skin; could see that they had offended him and Merlin knew exactly how he felt. 

“My knights are good men, loyal, brave, but it’s not really them that Gwer doubts... it’s me,” Arthur said after a long silence, “I know that I am not my father, but I’m not naïve either and I look out for my people, right?” 

“You rule with your heart and the people love you for that, but, when it comes down to it, they also know that you will fight for them. Your kingdom... your people are the only thing that matters to you and Gwer is just jealous because that earns you a kind of respect that he will never receive.” 

“You really know what to say to make a man feel special.” 

“Don’t let it go to your head, you’re still a prat,” Merlin teased with a grin, chuckling as Arthur forcefully grabbed the front of his tunic and gently tugged him forward into a kiss. 

A knock on the door broke the moment and Merlin tended to his duties, glancing up as Leon entered upon Arthur’s invite. Reports of magic use meant that Merlin soon found himself in the stables, preparing the horses and packing provisions for a patrol. Despite Arthur’s knowledge of his own magic, Merlin understood that many people were still very much afraid of it and that it was the king’s duty to act on any reports made. 

Sat on his horse a while later, Merlin rode beside Arthur and stopped as the atmosphere around them suddenly shifted. He wasn’t sure if the others could sense it, but the horses had definitely picked up on it and were nervously shifting. 

“Merlin?” Lancelot inquired, “Is everything okay?” 

“Thought I heard something... probably just an animal.” 

Of course, that was wishful thinking on Merlin’s part and he could only roll his eyes as shouts rose from the trees that surrounded them. 

“Ambush,” Elyan yelled, drawing his sword and slicing it across the chest of the first man to emerge from the tree line. 

Everyone dismounted, drawing their weapons and taking out anyone that got too close to the barrier that they had instinctively created around Merlin. Movement out of the corner of his eye soon caught the warlock’s attention and, without thinking, he reacted. 

With mere inches to its targets, the fireball that had been heading directly for Leon and Percival was knocked off course, hitting a nearby tree. All eyes fell upon him for a few seconds, before reality crashed back in and the knights cleared out the remaining bandits. 

“You have magic...” Leon said, breaking the silence that had settled over the small group, “You used magic to save us.” 

“It’s what I usually use it for, although it’s come in handy with the chores sometimes... you know how Arthur likes to give out chores for me to do,” Merlin rambled, before falling silent and dropping his gaze to the ground.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath wasn't exactly what Merlin expected.

The silence that fell over the group would usually have filled Merlin with warmth, but dread slowly sank in as the silence stretched and he waited for someone (anyone) to talk. Sudden movement by Gwaine had both Lancelot and Arthur stepping in front of him protectively, their hands resting on the hilts of their swords. 

“You think I’m going to hurt him?” Gwaine asked with a look of disbelief on his face. 

“The thought wouldn’t usually cross my mind, but this situation isn’t one that I ever saw us in,” Arthur answered. 

“Merlin is my friend... he’s the reason that I’m standing here today, the reason all of us are standing here today,” Gwaine argued, glancing at Merlin and continuing, “I thought you trusted me, so why didn’t you just tell me?” 

“It has nothing to do with trust,” Merlin stated, “Magic is banned within the walls of Camelot and I was already risking my life by being there, I wasn’t going to risk yours as well.” 

“What about those two?” 

“They weren’t supposed to find out,” Merlin mumbled, “I wanted more than anything to be able to tell you all, but I heard the way you spoke about magic and those who use it... I couldn’t face that.” 

“We...” 

“You’re going to say that you would have never thought those things about me, but I am just like those people... I’m a warlock and, in Camelot, that makes me a monster. You’ve all heard the stories, you’ve seen the devastation that magic can cause if the caster's intentions are ill willed and I couldn’t bear to see that anger (that fear) aimed towards me.” 

“I for one see you no differently to how I did before,” Percival said as he stepped forward, “You’ve done so much for people and now it’s my turn, your secret is my secret.” 

“Your secret is my secret,” the others repeated in unison, causing Merlin to frown and fight against the tears that welled in his eyes. 

“Are you crying?” Arthur asked. 

“Of course not, there’s just something in my eye,” Merlin replied, causing everyone to laugh, and just like that it was as if nothing had happened. 

Despite everything that had just been said, Merlin knew the men that stood before him and found it hard to believe that they were truly okay with his secret. Not wanting to push it, he collected the water pouches and went to fill them with fresh water. 

He should be happy that the people he saw as family accepted him for who he really was, but a part of him was waiting for the worst and no one could convince him that it wasn’t coming. They finished the patrol with no further incidents, but the foreboding feeling remained present in his chest and he hid away from the others in the stables. Sat on a stool, he vigorously polished the saddles and put off returning to the castle. 

“Merlin,” came Morgana’s voice as darkness fell, pulling the warlock’s attention away from what he’d been doing, “Arthur’s looking for you.” 

“I figured that he would be, but I’m not the best company to have around at the moment...” Merlin replied. 

“I heard what happened,” Morgana added as she approached him, “I overheard Arthur and the knights talking in his chamber, is there anything I can do to help?” 

“No, I don’t want to risk you getting exposed as well.” 

Not wanting to talk anymore, Merlin returned his attention to the task at hand and sighed as Morgana left without another word.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin's avoiding the knights!

Despite keeping up with his daily duties, Merlin avoided both Arthur and the knights as much as he could. Deep down he knew that none of them would do anything to hurt him, but irrational thoughts swirled in his head and pushed him further away from the people he classed as family. 

“Merlin,” he heard as he was collecting water late one afternoon. 

“Hey Lancelot,” Merlin replied quietly, hefting the pail he’d just filled with water and placing it on the floor at his feet. 

“How are you?” 

“I’m fine, was there something that you needed because I need to get this water to Gaius?” 

“The knights are worried... I’m worried,” Lancelot told him, “We stand with you, Merlin, there’s no hate or fear harbored towards you.” 

Merlin knew that Lancelot had no reason to lie to him, he was the first person aside from Gaius who discovered his magic and had never given him any reason to doubt him. The only thing stopping him from believing him now were the thoughts that plagued his mind, the nightmares that showed vivid images of fire and his own death. 

With an apologetic look, Merlin lifted the heavy pail and made his way back towards the castle. He didn’t miss the disappointment that flashed across his friend's face, but he did choose to ignore it and that stirred guilt within his chest. 

Sat in Morgana’s chambers later that night, the young warlock watched as she closed her hand and smiled as she opened it to reveal a small flower. She had come a long way with her control and as her magic stabilized, Morgana’s views on herself began to change. 

Magic wasn’t just about power; it was about believing in oneself and knowing that you were in control. Merlin had been born with the magic he possessed and had struggled for a really long time to gain control of it, but, even now, his emotions still played a huge part in his casting. 

“I feel more comfortable,” Morgana commented with a smile, concentrating on the delicate blossom in her palm and causing it to burst into a bright emerald green flame, “It still scares me though.” 

“I’ve had my magic since I was a baby, but I’d be lying if I said it never scared me,” Merlin replied honestly, “It’s okay to fear it, but what you can’t do is allow that fear to win... we will do amazing things, Morgana.” 

*** 

As usual, Merlin was late taking Arthur his dinner and knocked on the door of his chambers before entering. He apologized profusely for his tardiness and placed the tray on the table, picking up the clothes that were strewn over the floor. With his chores completed, he approached the bed and pulled back the covers as Arthur spoke. 

“I’ve decided to train with the knights in the morning,” he announced, causing Merlin to pause momentarily and offer an abrupt nod in confirmation, “We will be working with sword and shield, so they will all need to be down on the training fields after breakfast.” 

“Of course sire.” 

“Merlin,” Arthur called as he reached the door, “Stay?” 

“Yes, sire.” 

“It wasn’t an order,” Arthur stated softly, standing up and moving to cup Merlin’s cheek in his hand, “Don’t push me away.” 

Unable to pull away, Merlin leaned in close and reluctantly pressed a kiss to the king’s lips. He was a powerful warlock, but Arthur had placed his own kind of spell over Merlin and he couldn’t say that he really cared. 

The kiss deepened and Arthur tugged him forward, guiding him to the bed without force. Their arms wrapped around one another as the moment intensified and Merlin reluctantly pulled back to get some much-needed air into his lungs, resting his forehead against Arthur's as the king smiled at him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ♥ Will try to update every Friday ♥


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